The Dancing Phalanges

The fingers type what they want.

I Agree With Horton.

One thing I’ve had to grow used to in my move to a South Philadelphia row-home is the occasional presence of cockroaches. Yep, this post is about cockroaches. I’ve lived in the city for a few years now, so I’ve seen my share of creatures - mice, ants, centipedes. But cockroaches are a whole different story. With their hairy legs and greasy looking shell, and their wiggly antennae, and the way they scurry. (Shudder). And no matter how clean you keep your house, they’re still there.

When I pulled back the shower curtain in the first week at my house to find a beady little bugger chilling in my tub, I jumped back about two feet whilst doing a strange little jig and blubbering a pathetic, “Eww (whimper) ew ew ew…” However, due to my close reading of Horton Hears A Who, I have trouble killing things, “no matter how small”. So the only option for me was to pull the ol’ trap-it-in-a-cup-and-throw-it-out-the-window. Let me tell you, since that day I’ve had a handful of opportunities to perfect the art of the trap-it-in-a-cup-and-throw-it-out-the-window. Nowadays, when I flick on the kitchen light at 12am and find a roach scatter to the corner of the room, I hardly flinch. I do flinch, but only a little… and the whimpering doesn’t last as long.

This morning I found cockroach in my bedroom (that was a first). I immediately imagined it crawling around my bed or across my face while I slept so peacefully. Before a grossed-out panic attack ensued, I shook the image from my mind, trapped the bug, and threw it out the second-floor window. Then I wondered, can a cockroach survive a two-story fall onto pavement? My curiosity getting the better of me, I stuck my head out of the window to see how it managed. Immediately, a bird swooped down and nabbed the roach… Well, at least I gave a bird a meal?

Anyway, for some reason these cockroaches got me thinking about life and compassion. You see, when I find a cockroach in my basement, it’s most often already dead. I’ve realized it’s because this species has a bit of a defect - they easily get flipped over on their backs and get stuck there. That’s how they die, just laying there, squirming about, trying to get back on their bellies. I find that sad. So I tolerate them. I don’t want to live with them, but I tolerate them. I mean, it’s not their fault I find them hideous and creepy. After all, if we saw a butterfly in our kitchen, we’d smile at it, Instagram it, and consider it some sort of lucky sign. We certainly wouldn’t kill it. So where do humans draw the line of compassion? If a fly buzzes too close we kill it, but if a bird lands near by we feed it. We eat pigs, but it’s taboo to eat dogs. How are we judging these creatures? By their beauty? By their cuddle factor? Who are we to decide which life is worth living? Even though cockroaches give me goosebumps, I still can’t kill them. But maybe I should look into some sort of natural repellant…

This all sounds very Buddhist of me, I know. And I’m sure most people would think I’m ridiculous for throwing cockroaches out the window (I know they can come back, but it gives me peace of mind). Anyway, Horton understands…

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…the state of rapture I experience when I read a wonderful book is one of the main reasons I read; but it doesn’t happen every time or even every other time, and when it does happen, I am truly beside myself.

— Nora Ephron

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Spring Makes Me Giddy

Despite the fact that I’m still frustrated by the false hope provided by an oblivious groundhog who, like most things on a cloudy day, has no shadow, the final arrival of spring-like weather has been worth the wait. For whatever reason, this winter has seemed a little more bitter, cold, and just dreary - and this is coming from someone who typically is giddy at the first signs of winter. All the hot cocoa, oversized sweaters, frolicking in the snow, watching old movies and reading by the fire, and definitely anything Christmas. So what made this winter different? Maybe it’s the fact that I spent the majority of the season in the city this year, where there’s not much grass to be filled with snow, where the fresh powder quickly turns to black salty slush in the streets, and where there is no fireplace next to my Christmas tree. Or maybe it’s the fact that some of the people who typically make the season warm for me are off discovering their careers, just like I am. No longer conveniently pinned to one place by college, we’ve now reached the point where we burst out and discover what it means to be in the real world. And for people my age, that often means moving far and wide and often. But despite all that, we all managed to reunite for the holidays and fit in all the wintry, merry goodness I was lacking in the first half of winter. After that, I was good - I met my winter merriment quota. It’s spring’s turn to make me giddy, and it’s finally arriving to the Philadelphia area. I’m ready.

So what is it exactly that I’m ready for, you ask?
I’m ready for trees blossoming and flowers blooming.
I’m ready for the twig in front of my house to be a tree again.
I’m ready to ditch public transportation for bike rides and long strolls.
I’m ready for the day when a walk is no longer a frigid mission to get from point A to point B.
Yeah, I’m ready to enjoy walks again.
I’m ready for the outdoor concerts and festivals and markets.
I’m ready to plant things. That’s right, I’m gonna plant things.
I’m ready for the beach…
I’m ready to soak in the Sun until my body can’t take any more of its heat.
Then bolt into the ocean for an exhilarating shivery moment.
Then lay myself out to dry.
And start the process all over again.
I’m ready to fall asleep to waves.
And be woken by the chill of the sunset.
I’m ready for boardwalk rides and funnel cake.
I’m ready to be puzzled over sand’s ability to find its way on to anything and everything.
Everything.
I’m ready for my legs to feel the air again.
I’m ready for my skin to soak in the colors of the Sun.
I’m ready for it all.
And it’s on its way.
Happy Spring, everyone.
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A little dose of inspiration for you all :)

A little dose of inspiration for you all :)

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Made this today for kicks :)

Made this today for kicks :)

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On the Speedy Disappearance of Books

I recall the first time I feared the death of books - and by books, I refer to stories printed on paper and bound to make tangible literary wonderlands that smell amazingly like stuffy attics or ancient basements when aged appropriately - not PDFs and downloads. I was sitting in a British Literature class during my senior year of college. I had grown fond of my professor, who’s witty comments and stumping questions inspired me to write a complex masterpiece like A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, which we had been studying. I have yet to write such a masterpiece, but I was inspired. Very inspired.

Professor Kent (name changed to avoid a possible awkward encounter in the future) is the professor you always think you’ll get at some point in college. He was strict, but endearing and encouraging; he proposed profound meanings to dense literature as if it was fun small talk; he wore sweater vests and thin-rimmed glasses on his well-experienced face, yet always managed to stay current. I always pictured him milling about campus with his 20-year-old copy of Heart of Darkness, pondering a secret symbol no literary critic had unearthed before.

So, it came as quite a shock when he arrived to class one morning with a stack of books he was giving away to any of us that wanted them. At first, I was excited - now that I was about to graduate and finally choose my own reading materials once again, here were free classics from the collection of a literary academic to put on the top of my reading list. But then Professor Kent explained why they were up for grabs. You see, he just loved his new Kindle, and he was now getting rid of the extensive library collection he no longer needed. It was the first time I felt out-technologied by a senior citizen. I hated it. Professors like Kent are supposed to be the ones that make you nostalgic for old things like typewriters and land lines, not usher you into an era of digital storage. I thought for sure that my resistance to the e-reader would be supported by all of my classic literature professors. I mean, isn’t the fun of reading old books the ability you have to transport yourself into the past? Into “simpler times,” when books were the movies and letters were the internet? Isn’t it those professors’ jobs to harp on the past? Or am I just getting stuck there myself?

A few months ago I was on a train reading The Help, and the woman next to me leaned over. “You don’t see those so much anymore,” she said with a little grin. I looked back with a confused smile. She nodded to the hard cover book in my hand. As she went back to reading something or other on her Kindle, I looked up at the passengers around me. A sea of e-readers and iPhones bobbed with the movements of the train. It made me sad. Don’t these people miss holding a book?

Yes, I am one of the weirdos that loves the smell of freshly printed novels and weathered library books. And yes, I am one of the weirdos that truly believes you don’t get the same satisfaction when tapping the “turn page” button on a Kindle as when turning a real page in a book. Sometimes I wonder, if these e-readers take over, will there come a day when children won’t know what a paper page is? To them the word “page” will have only a digital connotation. Like our currency no longer references actual gold count, will we loose sight of the objects these digital readers are based off of? Additionally, will anything and everything be published because it will cost nothing to do so? This could be both a good and bad thing, I suppose. Putting that aside, the thing I’d cringe at most would be the day hipsters start collecting books like they collect vinyls today - not to use them, but to simply put them on display as decor or as a “statement” whose meaning they don’t even know.

Alas, I’m getting carried away on my extremist tangent. Of course I understand the pros to Kindles and Nooks. Less paper usage, less physical storage space, extreme portability and incredible accessibility to any book you want. My boyfriend is so in love with his Sony eReader that I can’t help but see the benefits. Having abandoned most TV and computer activities for reading, he’s living proof that e-readers can encourage people to read more often, which is great. Though I write with a great amount of vigor in promotion of hard copy books, I don’t actually oppose these modern devices. I simply fear one of their side effects: decreased human interaction.

I mean, what about the fun of browsing for books in a store? And what about the family outing that often defined my childhood summers: the weekly trip to the library? Does today’s modern family really need less reason to get out and go somewhere together? I think not. And what about the interactions with librarians and store clerks, or even strangers, in a bookstore or library? Do we need less reason to interact with strangers in today’s digital age? I wonder if we’ll soon forget how to interact with people all together, with the ability to buy and do just about anything online. You can even order groceries online! And if you opt to go to the supermarket yourself, the self-checkout counter can assure that you interact with employees as little as possible.

Another day on the train, a woman spotted the title on my yellow hard cover. She leaned over to me and said with a bubbly whisper, “I loved The Help! Isn’t it awesome?” The two of us talked a few minutes about the book before I continued reading with a new excitement. This type of conversation strikes up a lot when I read in public. But I wonder how often it happens to people reading books on e-readers. Aren’t you considered kind of a creep if you get close enough to someone to figure out the book they’re reading on their Kindle or Nook? With no book covers, how many friendly conversations, or better yet, fun debates with strangers are we missing out on? Or maybe some people prefer it that way. Less interruption from their reading at the sacrifice of human interaction. Still, I wonder how many friends and couples in the world have met because one person sparked a conversation about the book the other was reading. How many people wont meet each other while they’re reading on a Kindle?

I hope hard copy books stay in rotation in the years to come, not simply for nostalgia’s sake, but for the small connections that these books bring between us. Sure, people wont stop talking about books simply because they’re in digital formats, but the organic conversations in book stores, libraries, cafes and on public transportation are sure to take a hit. And like I said, we need all the help we can get to stay connected to one another in this digital age. And no, I don’t mean connected on Facebook or LinkedIn or Twitter or whatever the next social networking site will be. I mean connected in the physical world.

With every old book I buy at a used book store, I wonder two things: who had this book before me, and what did they take away from reading it? What I really love is when I find notes in the covers of books when they were first given as gifts, or markings in the margins when a reader before me liked a certain quote. Now that’s a story within a story. And that’s a story no Nook or Kindle can tell.

So yes, enjoy the convenience of your e-reader. But don’t be like my professor, who quickly cast away the historic treasures from his home library for the perks of a simplified and de-cluttered home. Think before you digitize your everything. Clean and convenient is great, but comfortable and personable is better. And, to me at least, there’s nothing more comfortable than a) breaking in the fresh binding on a crisp new book, or b) diving into a well-worn novel with a history of its own written in its dog-eared pages and note-scribbled cover.

*follow-up note: since the original writing of this piece, the author’s boyfriend has lost his eReader, and due to insufficient backing up practices, has for the time being lost his entire library. Take this as you will.

**Retraction: the author was a tad hasty in the above follow-up note, and would like to retract the statement. Please instead regard the following note as it’s replacement: Since the original writing of this piece, the author’s boyfriend has lost his eReader, and though he still has all of his books stored digitally, he doesn’t like reading on computers… He also doesn’t actually own a computer. Take this as you will.

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Edit Undo

Sometimes when I do something wrong I find myself mumbling “edit undo, edit undo” to myself. It doesn’t work.

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A City-Living Tip

Have to grocery shop via public transportation? Take two reusable shopping bags and fill them as you go through the store. This way, you won’t buy more than you can carry home :)

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It’s the little things that please me

Have you ever walked in front of a person who’s wearing high heels and pretended their clacking was the sound of your sneakers? You can’t not smile…

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The Sage Nude Man

While hiking through the woods with a friend, we spotted a naked man laying out by the river. Hiding in the bushes, we giggled at how bizarre this man was, with his unruly hair and dangling beard. Then it started to rain - hard. The man promptly pulled out a large rainbow umbrella from the rock behind him and pleasantly gazed out at the storm. As we ran back through the slippery mud trail, soak to the core and worried about the condition of our cell phones, I realized that the naked man had everything he needed. We did not.

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When you have nobody you can make a cup of tea for, when nobody needs you, that’s when I think life is over.

—Audrey Hepburn

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Skipping into Fall: My Autumnal To-Do List

This summer flew by as fast as Haley’s Comet. Flash, it’s gone. Is it just me? Maybe it’s because this is the first summer that I’ve had a full-time “grown up” job working in an office all day. For the first time, I had to work hard to fit in summer outdoor time. That’s no fun. Typically a weekend beach goer every summer, my only trip this year was a day and a half for the 4th of July. My weekends quickly booked up with favors for friends, family shindigs and side projects, leaving little-to-no opportunities to hit up the beach. This weekend will be my last attempt to make it to the shore before the cool weather really does set in. And man is it setting in! Yesterday, someone up there switched off the summer and flicked on the fall.

But even if I don’t make it to the beach one last time, I’ve vowed not to go kicking and screaming into autumn. In fact, despite missing out on some of my favorite summer shenanigans, I’m still so excited to pull out the sweaters and kick around some leaves this fall. Last night, we turned the air conditioning off and opened the windows. The smell of the brisk air put me in an autumnal state of mind, and I didn’t mind it at all. Since I was feeling the inspiration, I’ve made myself a to-do list of sorts for the season to keep me excited throughout autumn. Here’s what I’m pumped about this fall:

1. Wearing sweaters - And doing/wearing/snuggling with anything cozy. 
2. Apple picking - For some reason this manual labor is so much fun.
3. Pumpkin picking - I could spend hours in a pumpkin patch tracking down the perfectly goofiest pumpkin.
4. Corn mazes - I haven’t done one since I was a kid. This will change.
5. Pumpkin carving - I’m gonna have me a pumpkin carving party.
6. Pie making - And not heating up a pie from a box. For real, I’m making them from scratch this year. I’ll let you know how that works out…
7. Pumpkin lattes - I don’t drink coffee anymore, but for these lovely specimens, I’ll treat myself.
8. Apple cider - I only discovered recently that I prefer it warm… amazing.
9. Homemade apple/pear butter - Also a first for me. I’m going to make apple butter and pear butter from the apples picked at the orchard and the pears in my parents’ back yard.
10. Haunted hay rides and corn mazes - October is the time of year when I actually get pumped to get scared. Bring on the horror movies and the haunted anythings!
11. Rocky Horror Picture Show - Never been to a showing, so if anyone knows where they host them in the Philadelphia area, please let me know! I’m having trouble finding anything.
12. Throwing my own Halloween party - And I’m actually going to take time to develop a creative costume (I say this every year, and every year I throw together a pathetic “gypsy” or mediocre “pirate” at the last minute. But this year will be different!).

Those are a few of the things I’m looking forward to this fall. I’m now promising to make a list like this for each season as it comes. There’s no better way to enjoy the whole year than by getting in the spirit for every phase of it. So soak up every part of autumn. Don’t let this season be another Haley’s Comet!

Happy Fall, everyone!

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What I’m reading :) (Taken with Instagram)

What I’m reading :) (Taken with Instagram)

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What I’m reading :) (Taken with Instagram)

What I’m reading :) (Taken with Instagram)

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The Mighty Presence of Absence

Absence, they say, makes the heart grow much fonder,
But my heart is quite fond now,
And this absence won’t wander.
I asked it to leave,
And for four days it fled,
But now it’s returned,
And its presence I dread.
Someday, just one day,
I’ll take a damn stance,
And for once that great tyrant,
Won’t keep our distance.
But until then we’ll dream of when again we’ll meet,
When finally this absence we’ll forever defeat.

-M.H. 2012

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